The Library Chaos
by Hikaru-aka-Hikaru
Summary: This is for my friend. Basically, a oneshot with cute humor. Jiraiya and two others go to the library and what happens? UTTER CHAOS! Pls R


Author's Note: My friend doesn't want an account here on FF but she just wants me to help her post this on the net. She loves Sasuke and Itachi from Naruto. This account is for her since I don't want to reveal who I really am here on FF, and also because my friend, who wants to be known as Yami Hikaru, just wants to know what other people think of her work. Please be nice. And don't ever try to figure out who I am or else I'll kill you.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here at all. Not even the story itself. The story plot belongs to my friend Yami Hikaru.

**Bold is Jiraiya's thoughts**

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"Why should I go to the library with you guys? Huh, flat-chest?!" Jiraiya whined, tugging on the short white ponytail he was planning to grow out.

"Because I said so, so shut up." Tsunade retorted, opening the door to the library.

"Hey, Chi-Chi, Washboard is no fun."

"Don't call me Chi-Chi, Jiraiya." Orachimaru said quietly.

Tsunade and Orachimaru picked a few books and sat down at a table. Seeing no other options, Jiraiya took a seat near Orachimaru.

He kicked off his sandals and propped his feet on the table. Orachimaru wrinkled his nose in disgust and moved closer to Tsunade.

She frowned and looked up from the chart of the human body. "Do you bathe, Jiraiya?! I can smell your stench from here!"

"Maybe once a month?" Jiraiya offered. Tsunade shook her head in exasperation and turned her attention back to her back.

"You're disgusting, Jiraiya. No wonder the girls run from you."

"I'm not disgusting, flat-chest! Right, Chi-Chi?!"

"You're revolting." He replied.

"See, Tsunade?! I'm re-whatever he said I was!" Tsunade rolled her eyeballs.

"You don't even understand what Ochimaru said." Jiraiya ignored Tsunade and walked around the library barefooted, oblivious to the others' disapproval at his vulgarity.

He reached the restricted section and snuck a few books out, handling them like the precious gems they were. At least to him. **Maybe the library isn't so bad…**

Orachimaru cast a wary glance at the R21 books Jiraiya was carrying back.

"Tsunade will kill you if she finds out." He hissed.

"If she finds out, that is." Jiraiya opened a book called, "Fairytales for a twisted mind" and let out a girlish giggle as he read the first sentence.

Orachimaru fixed his attention on the book he was studying and narrowed his eyes. "It will take forever to learn all these Justus."

"Then take forever." Jiraiya giggled again.

"Maybe I will." Orachimaru drummed his fingers against the table.

Jiraiya giggled another time. Unable to concentrate, Tsunade scowled. "Jiraiya, I swear if you let out another giggle I personally will-"

(Giggle)

(Fwump)

Orachimaru let his fringe hide one of his rare smiles. Jiraiya's sandal had just got intimately introduced to its owner's mouth. **Mental note to self, bathe more often.**

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya roared.

Her gaze was no longer fixed on him. Instead, it traveled down to…

**Oh. Freaking. Hell.**

The boys ran out of the library immediately, several books flying towards them, a few narrowly missed their heads.

"Jiraiya, you disgusting pervert! Reading such perverted books!" A book missed Orachimaru's head and crashed out the window.

"What did you do to my library?!" The librarian emerged from her office and shrieked.

Tsunade froze in mid-air and turned rigidly. The librarian pushed up her half-man spectacles and glared down on the blonde haired girl. "Young lady, mind explaining yourself?"

"The pervert Jiraiya-" The corridor was empty, except for a clutter of books. Sure enough, the raven haired and the white haired boy were nowhere in sight.

A few minutes later, Tsunade skidded onto the corridor on a freshly kicked behind and an empty wallet was tossed after her. Her newly thinned wallet landed on her head and dropped onto her lap. A loud thud sounded behind her as the library door slammed shut.

Tsunade began shaking in anger. "Jiraiya! Pay me back ten times more than what that library bitch made me pay for the mess you caused!" Her fingers dug into the cement floor, creating deep holes. Her eyes flashed red in anger. "I'll make you, don't worry."

Jiraiya shuddered, like there was a cold wind. **I could have sworn that I felt her… **He collapsed onto the ground and leaned back on the tree.

"We're far enough from the library."

"Yeah." Ochimaru replied and he arched an eyebrow when Jiraiya removed a book inside his T-shirt.

"I saved you from that witch's grasp, my darling." Jiraiya cooed, kissing the R21 book.

Orachimaru paled when he saw a familiar figure. And he was pale to start with.

"Who's that witch, Jiraiya?"

**Oh. Freaking. Hell.**

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A/N: So, like it or not? Yami Hikaru really wants to know.


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